- Families make enormous financial and personal sacrifices to send students to universities and colleges, making education a collective investment in hope and future prosperity.
- Unhealthy relationships built on secrecy, manipulation, financial dependence or poor judgment can derail academic progress, damage reputations, and even lead to tragic outcomes such as the Sharon Otieno-Okoth Obado case.
- Students are urged to exercise maturity, resist peer pressure, use social media cautiously, seek mentorship, and prioritise integrity and education over short‑term gratification.
Higher education marks one of the most defining chapters in a young person’s life. Universities, national polytechnics, teacher training colleges, technical and vocational education and training (TVET) institutions, and other middle-level colleges exist to equip students with knowledge, practical skills, values, and competencies that prepare them for productive careers and responsible citizenship. They are centres where dreams are nurtured, talents are refined, innovations are born, and future leaders are shaped.
For many students, admission into an institution of higher learning represents far more than personal success. Across Kenya, parents, guardians, relatives, sponsors, and well-wishers make enormous financial and personal sacrifices to ensure their children receive an education. Some sell land, livestock, or family businesses, while others take loans, exhaust savings, or work multiple jobs so that a son or daughter can remain in school. For such families, higher education is an investment built on hope, determination, and years of sacrifice.
Campus life introduces students to new experiences and freedoms, often for the first time living independently and making personal decisions without close parental supervision. It is also during this period that friendships blossom into romance. Healthy relationships can be enriching, providing emotional support and strengthening self-confidence. However, relationships founded on secrecy, manipulation, financial dependence, emotional exploitation, or poor judgment can become extremely costly.
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The Sharon Otieno and Okoth Obado Case
Kenya has witnessed several cases in which relationships have ended in controversy and heartbreaking loss. Among the most publicised was the relationship involving former Migori Governor Zachary Okoth Obado and Sharon Otieno, a 26-year-old Rongo University student and freelance journalist. Obado, then 58 years old and a former teacher trained at Kenyatta University before rising through public service to become Migori’s first governor, was an experienced political leader with considerable influence. Sharon represented many ambitious young Kenyans pursuing higher education while working towards a promising future.
The case attracted national attention because of its tragic outcome and the criminal proceedings that followed. While the courts determined the legal questions arising from the case, it also sparked a broader national conversation about relationships involving significant differences in age, wealth, authority, and social influence. Such differences do not automatically make a relationship unhealthy or improper. Nevertheless, they may create unequal power dynamics that require exceptional maturity, openness, accountability, independence, and mutual respect from everyone involved.
How Relationships Can Derail Academic Progress
Joining a university or college offers freedom, but freedom without responsibility can easily become dangerous. Unfortunately, some students gradually lose sight of the primary reason they enrolled in higher education. Relationships sometimes consume valuable study time, create emotional instability, encourage reckless spending, or lead students into conflicts that interfere with academic progress. Some begin missing classes, neglect assignments, or abandon their educational goals altogether, while others struggle with anxiety or depression following unhealthy relationships.
Financial dependence has become an increasingly worrying concern. The desire for expensive lifestyles, fashionable clothing, luxurious accommodation, or social status may tempt some students into relationships driven more by financial gain than genuine affection. Although there is nothing wrong with receiving support from a caring partner, dependence that compromises one’s freedom to make independent decisions creates vulnerability. No relationship should require anyone to sacrifice personal dignity, moral values, education, or future aspirations in exchange for financial comfort.
Students should also exercise wisdom whenever relationships involve substantial differences in age, wealth, authority, or influence, since one partner may possess considerably greater economic or social power than the other. Genuine equality demands that both individuals remain free to make decisions without manipulation, coercion, intimidation, fear, or dependence.
Peer pressure remains another powerful influence, as many students enter relationships simply because they feel left behind or wish to imitate friends, pushing them into situations for which they were emotionally, financially, or psychologically unprepared.
The digital age has also created risks. Private conversations, intimate photographs, videos, and confidential information shared in trust can easily become public after disagreements, exposing individuals to cyberbullying, blackmail, humiliation, and lasting reputational damage. Students must exercise great caution before sharing private information online, because digital footprints can remain permanent.
Recognising early warning signs of unhealthy relationships is equally important. Controlling behaviour, emotional manipulation, threats, intimidation, excessive jealousy, dishonesty, and isolation from family and friends should never be mistaken for love. Genuine love promotes trust, respect, accountability, freedom, honesty, and personal growth. It never flourishes through fear, secrecy, violence, or domination.
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Protecting the Future Through Guidance and Wise Choices
Institutions of higher learning have a duty to strengthen counselling services, mentorship programmes, career guidance, and mental health support, so students facing emotional distress or relationship challenges can seek professional assistance without fear of stigma. Early intervention can prevent temporary personal struggles from developing into lifelong tragedies.
Parents, too, must remain actively involved after their children leave home. Admission into university or college should never mark the end of parental guidance. Regular communication, emotional support, and mentorship provide stability during one of the most influential periods of a young person’s life. Many life-changing mistakes can be avoided when students remain connected to families that genuinely care about their well-being.
Ultimately, education remains one of the greatest investments any individual, family, and nation can make. No relationship, however exciting it may appear, should be allowed to destroy years of sacrifice or compromise a future that so many people have worked hard to build. Students should never forget that behind their education are parents, guardians, and sponsors who have invested not only money but also hope, faith, and countless sacrifices.
The enduring lesson is simple: choose relationships that strengthen your character, protect your dignity, respect your independence, and support your ambitions. Listen to the sound counsel of parents, guardians, lecturers, mentors, and the elderly. Value integrity above material gain, wisdom above temporary excitement, and long-term purpose above short-term gratification.
Campus life lasts only a few years, but the consequences of decisions made during that period may last a lifetime. The wisest students are not those who avoid relationships altogether, but those who approach them with maturity, discernment, self-respect, and an unwavering commitment to protecting the future they have worked so hard to build. The greatest honour any student can give to those who sacrificed so much is to graduate with knowledge, integrity, wisdom, and a future worthy of the price that was paid.
By Hillary Muhalya
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