The greatest duty and responsibility of a parent is to raise their children. Parenthood is not a title earned at birth; it is a responsibility lived out every day. Of all the work a person can do in life—business, politics, career, or wealth—nothing comes close to the importance of shaping the next generation within one’s own home.
Too often, parents hand over their responsibility to older siblings, relatives, or teachers, assuming that feeding and clothing a child is enough. They leave home early, return late, and say, “My brother or sister will look after them.” That may keep the child safe for a day, but it does not raise them. Children need more than food and school fees. They need presence. They need a parent who listens, corrects, encourages, and sets standards. When parents abdicate this role, siblings become parents before their time. The older child misses school, play, and childhood itself, while the younger ones grow up without proper guidance. A home where parents are absent becomes a home where values are shaped by chance, not intention.
The reason this duty cannot be delegated is simple: the world is not safe by default. The world contains both good and bad, but in many cases, it wears masks. It presents opportunities that appear to be friendship, success, or freedom, yet behind them are drugs, crime, exploitation, and despair. A child who grows up without a parent’s watchful eye and honest counsel will learn about life from the streets, peers, and the internet. Those teachers are not always kind. They may teach survival, but rarely integrity. They may teach shortcuts, but seldom responsibility. By the time a parent realises the damage, the child may already have adopted habits and beliefs that are difficult to unlearn.
History and literature show us both sides of this truth. Take President Abraham Lincoln. His formal schooling was minimal, but his stepmother, Nancy Hanks Lincoln, and his father, Thomas Lincoln, encouraged reading and discipline at home. Lincoln later said that all he was, he owed to his mother. That early moral and intellectual foundation carried him through poverty, loss, and eventually to the presidency. His parents may not have had wealth, but they gave him character and a love for learning, which no school could replace.
On the other hand, consider Waiyaki, the son of Chege in Ngũgĩ wa Thiong’o’s The River Between. Chege was deeply aware of the dangers facing his son and the Agikuyu people as colonialism and new religions spread. He raised Waiyaki with a vision: to be educated, to understand both worlds, and to lead his people without losing their identity. Chege’s deliberate parenting gave Waiyaki purpose and courage, even when the path was lonely and misunderstood. Without that guidance, Waiyaki would have been swept away by forces he did not understand.
Closer to home, Kenyan storytellers have also sounded this warning. Ken Walibora, one of the greatest Kiswahili writers and radio broadcasters, often wove into his stories the consequences of absent or negligent parenting. Through characters who went astray, he showed how a lack of parental guidance leaves children vulnerable to the world’s deceptions.
Leonard Mambo Mbotela, in his popular programme Jee Huu Ni Ungwana?, repeatedly emphasized the role of parents as the first teachers and guardians of their children. He used real-life stories to show that when parents neglect their duty, children fall prey to peer pressure, crime, and moral decay. His message was clear: no teacher, elder, or programme can replace the influence of a present parent.
To raise a child is to be present in their moral, emotional, and intellectual formation. It means teaching them right from wrong, not merely telling them to obey. It means listening when they are troubled, so they do not seek comfort in the wrong places. It means modelling discipline, honesty, and hard work, because children imitate what they see more than what they hear. It also means preparing them for a world that will not always be fair. You may not protect them from every danger, but you can equip them with sound judgment. You can teach them to question what appears too good to be true, to respect themselves, and to stand firm when everyone else bends. That is the work no sibling, school, or church can do in your place.
When parents neglect this duty, the cost is paid in broken homes, wasted potential, and a generation that does not know how to parent the next one. Street children, teenage pregnancies, drug abuse, and rebellion do not emerge from nowhere. They grow in the gaps left by absent parents. No business deal, political position, or amount of money can compensate for a child lost because a parent was too busy to raise them. Wealth without character breeds arrogance. Education without discipline breeds rebellion.
The return on investing time in your children is greater than any other investment you can make. A child raised with love, discipline, and purpose becomes a responsible adult, a good parent, and a useful citizen. That is legacy. That is wealth that does not depreciate. Your business may fail. Your position may end. But the values you plant in your children will outlive you.
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Parents, remember this always: the greatest duty and responsibility of a parent is to raise their children. Do not hand them over to siblings and assume that is enough. The world is waiting with masks on, ready to shape them if you do not. Teach them, correct them, love them, and walk with them. And as the proverb says: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”
By Enock Okongó
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