- Mike “Gorba” Ochieng’ argues that peace begins with the individual before extending to schools, relationships and society.
- He highlights listening, mutual respect, emotional balance and conflict resolution as essential foundations for peaceful coexistence.
- The writer urges young people and institutions to embrace dialogue, courtesy and understanding before disagreements escalate into conflict.
“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you… Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”
Indeed.
Does it mean there are levels or kinds of peace?
The whole world is crying for peace. Every individual craves peace. What’s peace got to do with it? Everything. Peace has everything to do with it.
When was the last time you really thought you needed a break from everything and just let loose, cool the brain and calm the heart? That’s a very necessary break. It’s a cry for peace of mind.
Individually, whenever the balance of mental, financial, physical, social and spiritual dimensions is strained or removed, the imbalance stresses us out, bringing turmoil within. Stay with me.
Many couples strain and break up when finances run dry (financial). Many students riot when they feel the administration does not listen to their grievances (social). Many friendships end when secrets are exposed and betrayals kick in (social). Many people are driven to commit crimes when they feel alone, abandoned or neglected (mental). Many people slide into depression when they feel they have sinned too much and are beyond saving (spiritual). Many patients give up on getting better and succumb when they feel neglected and also lack money (mental, physical and financial).
Our internal personal peace, therefore, is disturbed by physical factors as well as mental factors—our thought processes.
It goes without saying, then, that we should prioritise our internal peace. This we can do by checking our perception of life, our daily physical interactions and our thought processes.
We may not have the power to control everything around us, but we definitely can control our thought processes and reactions to life. This will maintain the needed homeostasis to prevent further damage to our fragile minds.
Students and young people especially need this balance with the recent cases of school arson in high schools and love-triangle deaths in colleges and universities. Few issues fuel conflict.
Perception is key. A nine or eight, depending on the angle of view, is right as you view it. This drives the undeniable fact that you don’t always have to agree with everyone and vice versa.
This truth sets us free from being too harsh on ourselves and others to the point of conflict. Your different personalities and experiences may make you see things differently, and the same applies to others as well. You can only sell your viewpoint and wait for feedback.
Most people pick grudges and fight simply because they misunderstood each other or thought they heard or saw right.
Next time, before you act adversely, pick a fight or develop grudges, verify to get the exact message. One of the best ways can be asking the simplest of two questions:
“Would you say that again?” or “What did you mean by saying…?”
A wise person is brought back to moderation by these.
Listening can prevent conflict
Feelings of oppression or being neglected also fuel conflict in the process. The Gen Z revolt in Kenya brought this to the fore. The youths believed that the administration did not care about their views and participation and decided to do it their way.
The message was loud and clear, and the government did listen and approved several changes, among them the budget and also the Cabinet!
With wisdom, school administrators must craft a way of maintaining discipline and virtues while at the same time giving an ear to learner grievances. How they go about it is unique to individual institutions. But wisdom and goodwill take centre stage.
When the subjects feel the decisions are in their best interest, they comply. When they feel suppressed, neglected or sidelined, a revolution is in the offing!
Listening to the pleas is just the start. Implementing the agreed terms is the one that brings lasting impact.
The 2007 post-election agreement in Kenya offered much of this. The implementation is here with us 19 years later. Never have we gone back. And never will we. The Constitution was implemented, counties created and so much has swiftly been accorded the necessary action.
What makes conflict resolution sweetest is the word itself—resolution. Anytime a solution is not in sight, get an arbitrator. One who is neutral and non-judgemental.
This already creates an environment for a win-win situation. Follow the laid-down rules, identify the specific problem—point it out in black and white—and pick the best solution for all. That’s open-mindedness.
Sometimes we may go the trial-and-error method of trying which one brings lasting peace. Sometimes we have to follow the old ones that have worked—following the rules and spirit of the law.
Good old manners maketh a man. The youth need to address the serious elephant in the room of attitude, self-importance and entitlement.
This takes us back to courtesy. How to appreciate when good is done to you, when to listen when getting corrected and adjusting to the same, when and how to talk to equals, authority as well as the younger.
Peace, therefore, is important.
What would happen to you if you blatantly disregarded traffic rules and even ignored the traffic police and sped off? What happens to a student who refuses to follow school rules and instead abuses teachers?
Lack of peace is never an alternative—it only breeds chaos.
Peace, therefore, is not the absence of war but rather the presence of mutual respect and honour to both individuals, rules and systems.
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Peace is important for our mental health, healthy relationships and, largely, healthy nations and ecosystems.
For what can we do without peace?
Peace.
By Mike “Gorba” Ochieng’
Ochieng’ is Team builder, Speaker and Coach
Email: mikeochieng@gmail.com
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