The student council elections at Tenri Primary School, a Tenri Mission-sponsored school in Embu County, have taken over TikTok timelines with the kind of energy usually reserved for actual national politics, football rivalries and occasionally fuel prices.
Kenya has staged many legendary political spectacles over the years. Harambees that raise millions for projects nobody ever sees again. Campaign convoys causing traffic jams in towns with exactly two roads. Politicians promising industrial parks where goats currently hold grazing rights.
But nothing, absolutely nothing, has prepared the country for the presidential election currently consuming a primary school in Embu like a fully funded national crisis.
The candidates, Allan, Sally, Kingsley and Nevina, are primary school pupils. Actual children. Young citizens who should, in theory, still be negotiating over sharpeners and homework excuses. Instead, they are running campaigns with the intensity of seasoned politicians defending a parliamentary seat in a by-election.
There are chants. There are crowds. There is coordinated slogan warfare. There are snack distribution allegations serious enough to qualify as economic policy.
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And somewhere in Embu, exhausted teachers are probably wondering how a student council election developed the atmosphere of a constitutional referendum.
Allan has emerged as the internet’s breakout star thanks to his now infamous campaign chant, “Halo Halloo!”- slogan so aggressively catchy that fully grown adults are now randomly shouting it in matatus without understanding how their lives reached this point.
Sally, meanwhile, has refused to surrender the battlefield. Her supporters are loud, organised and emotionally invested at levels usually reserved for football derbies and family inheritance disputes.
The best part of the entire thing is how seriously Kenyan adults have decided to take it.
People are choosing sides online. Comment sections are full of campaign analysis. TikTok users are speaking about alliances, momentum, voter influence, and “the ground” as though they are discussing a gubernatorial race instead of children campaigning between classes.
At one point, TikTok discussions even drifted into playful “abduction” allegations and mysterious campaign drama, all delivered with the kind of exaggerated humour Kenyans apply to literally everything online.
The school’s TikTok account, @the tenrian, has become the unofficial headquarters of the chaos, posting updates that Kenyans now consume like breaking political news.
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What makes the whole thing genuinely funny is how naturally the pupils have copied the style of Kenyan politics without necessarily meaning to. The dramatic chants. The loud supporters. The carefully timed crowd appearances. The overwhelming confidence regardless of actual policy discussion.
Nobody, importantly, seems particularly concerned about real student council matters like homework, exams, or school lunch improvements. The vibes have completely overtaken governance. And honestly, that is probably why Kenyans love it.
For a country that spends most election seasons stressed, angry, or exhausted, watching children enthusiastically campaign with nothing at stake except school pride and bragging rights has felt oddly refreshing.
No tension. No hostility. Just chants, snacks, laughter and extremely committed small politicians enjoying themselves while the internet watches from the sidelines like confused election observers.
At this point, whoever wins at Tenri Primary School may not change Kenya’s future. But they have definitely won the country’s attention.
By Benedict Aoya
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