- Every person is surrounded by a network of relationships that influences their wellbeing, resilience and personal growth.
- Victor Ochieng’ explains how a simple sociogram can help people identify their strongest support systems and reflect on the quality of their social connections.
The exercise also challenges readers to consider who they can truly rely on during life’s difficult moments.
In the 7 Kinds of Smart, there is a captivating chapter Thomas Armstrong calls People Smart: Connecting with Your Social Sense. There is a good idea I pored over, which I am generous to share. For sharing is caring. Perhaps it will help you become better and smarter on how you connect with people the good gift of life brings into your orbit. Learn about “sociogram” — visual maps used by sociologists, psychologists and educators: to track patterns of connectedness among people. They provide an instant printout of our social-support network.
Foremost, how do you go about it? Do this first exercise on a large piece of paper. In the middle of the sheet, draw a small circle and write your name at the centre. Then, draw four concentric circles of increasing size so that the circumference of the last circle fills the page. In the first ring — just beyond your name — list all the people in your life who belong to your circle of “inmates”.
Haply, this carefully captures your wife, husband, children, and significant others. Such as close-knit friends and close relatives that you can call upon in tough times. Or morbid moments of crisis. In the second ring, list good friends that you regularly hang out with. Or are otherwise involved with that are not part of your inner circle. Withal, in the third ring, list other important people in your social network; including additional family members that you occasionally see, significant people from work, and so forth. In the final ring, list as many casual acquaintances as you can.
Then, in the second exercise, write your name in the centre of a sheet of paper. Circle it. Then, list the names of significant people in your life randomly around the page. Connect the names of the people using straight lines. Use double lines for people whom you think you have a profound bond with. Indicate the flow of the relationship — whether one-sided or reciprocal by placing arrows on one side or both sides of each line. Once you are done and dusted, find out whether you are a porcupine, target, mandala or a golf ball. Ideally, you are a porcupine when several lines emerge from your name towards other people. You are a target when arrows from other people point to your name. You are a mandala when there are arrows moving in both directions. Then, you are a golf ball when there are few or no lines at all.
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In a nutshell, you come up with a circle of support as a way of mapping your support system. Doing that exercise to ascertain your circle of support, point out your social-support network or map your support system, can raise some fundamental questions about your connection as an individual to the broader culture around you. Is your support network central or peripheral to your daily life? Who can you really count on for help during tough times? What do people in your life mean to you, really? What kind of people are on your phone book? What kind of associates do you have in the WhatsApp group?
By Victor Ochieng’
The writer rolls out talks and training services. vochieng.90@gmail.com. 0704420232
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