- Astiba Kebong’o argues that preventing school unrest requires stronger cooperation between parents and school administrations.
- She says parenting must extend beyond material provision to guidance, boundaries, listening and understanding children’s influences.
- The writer urges schools to strengthen counselling and give learners constructive avenues to express their grievances.
Whenever learners are involved in school strikes, destruction of property, confrontation with teachers or other forms of unrest, attention quickly turns to the school administration.
Was the school too strict? Were learners listened to? Did the administration handle the situation appropriately?
These are legitimate questions. But there is another question we must confront as a society: Where are the parents in this conversation?
Schools are institutions of learning, but they cannot be expected to raise children alone. A learner arrives at school carrying values, attitudes, friendships, fears and behaviours shaped by the home and the wider community.
Teachers can guide, correct and mentor, but they cannot replace parents.
Perhaps it is time for parents to ask themselves some uncomfortable questions.
Are we so busy providing school fees, food and other material needs that we have forgotten to provide guidance? Do we know our children’s friends? Do we know what they watch on their phones? Do we understand the conversations taking place in their social media groups?
More importantly, do our children understand that following the crowd does not excuse wrongdoing?
Parenting must go beyond material needs
Peer pressure is real. So is the desire to belong. Social media has also become a powerful influence on young people’s attitudes, language and behaviour. A teenager may participate in an activity simply because friends are doing it, without fully appreciating where that decision could lead.
This is why parenting must go beyond providing material needs.
Children need boundaries. They need to understand that disagreement does not require violence, frustration does not justify destruction and expressing grievances does not mean disregarding authority.
They must also understand that destroying school property ultimately harms the same learners who depend on that school for their education.
Above all, they must be taught to value human life.
But responsibility does not end at the family level. Schools have an equally important role to play.
Guidance and counselling should not become an emergency response activated only after a strike or serious disciplinary incident. Learners need trusted adults to whom they can turn when they are struggling with anger, peer pressure, family challenges, academic frustrations or other difficulties.
Student leaders also need mentorship. Leadership should teach learners how to articulate grievances, negotiate and seek solutions—not how to mobilise others towards destruction.
Schools must create reasonable avenues for learners to be heard, while learners must understand that having genuine grievances does not remove their responsibility to behave responsibly.
Home and school must work together
This calls for a partnership between the home and the school.
The Bible reminds us in Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Training a child means more than paying school fees. It means teaching integrity, self-control, respect, empathy and responsibility. It means helping a young person understand that one impulsive decision can have consequences far beyond the moment.
Parents should therefore not wait for a school to call them after their child has been involved in serious misconduct.
Know your child before the crisis.
Talk to them when everything appears normal. Ask about their friends. Listen to their frustrations. Understand their digital world. Set appropriate boundaries. Teach them that they do not have to follow the crowd to be accepted.
Schools, too, must continuously examine whether their learners are being adequately guided, supported and heard.
When unrest occurs, accountability is necessary. Learners must understand that choices have consequences. At the same time, discipline should not only punish; it should correct, rehabilitate and help young people make better choices in future.
The real question is not whether children should be disciplined. They should.
The bigger question is whether we are doing enough to prevent the behaviour before discipline becomes necessary.
Every incident of unrest should therefore prompt reflection beyond the school gates.
What are we teaching our children at home?
What are they learning from their peers?
What are they consuming online?
Are we giving them enough attention and guidance?
And are schools providing the support necessary to help them navigate the difficult years of adolescence?
We cannot outsource parenting to schools and then blame schools whenever children make choices that trouble us.
Let us guide before peer pressure becomes the teacher.
Let us listen before frustration becomes destructive.
Let us discipline before a crisis forces us to act.
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And let us raise young people who understand that choices have consequences, but good choices are often the product of good guidance.
The responsibility belongs to all of us.
By Astiba Kebong’o
Email: jackiekebongo@gmail.com
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