There are days when I wake up and feel an unexplainable urge to become a wolf. Not the animal that walks on four legs through forests and mountains, but the symbolic wolf — assertive, focused, disciplined, fearless, and hungry for growth.
On such mornings, I feel powerful from within. I want to conquer challenges without hesitation. I want to hunt for success, ideas, knowledge, opportunities, strategies, and wisdom. I feel the need to sharpen myself mentally, emotionally, and physically.
Those are the days I wake up determined to read more books, meditate deeply, exercise, eat healthier meals, learn a new skill, and protect my peace. I step outside carrying an energy of confidence and silent dominance. Like a lone desert wolf, I feel tough, resilient, and prepared to face the world head-on.
On those days, I do not seek permission to exist boldly. I do not feel the need to explain my dreams or justify my ambition. I simply move with purpose. I become protective of my goals, my time, my energy, and everything I have worked hard to build. I want to defend what belongs to me and create a future that reflects strength and self-respect.
Even failure feels different on such days because I see it as temporary. I believe I can always return stronger, wiser, and more patient with myself. The wolf spirit gives me the courage to keep going despite obstacles.
But life is not always lived in that state of confidence.
There are other days when I wake up and the first thought that crosses my mind is, “I do not think I can do it.” The confidence disappears almost overnight. Doubt quietly enters my mind and slowly begins poisoning everything. Suddenly, the same goals that excited me yesterday feel impossible today. My voice becomes smaller. My plans begin to feel heavier. The future that once looked promising starts appearing distant and unreachable.
On such days, I begin questioning myself. I ask whether I am truly capable of succeeding. I wonder whether what I offer is enough. I question whether I have what it takes to build a successful business, stand before people confidently, or face life courageously. Fear takes control, and with it comes painful memories from the past.
I remember the moments I failed exams, the times I could not answer questions correctly, the occasions when nervousness stole my words in public, and the moments I failed to defend myself. I remember not being able to afford certain things while others around me seemed comfortable. I remember relationships where I kept returning despite being ignored or emotionally abandoned. Those memories suddenly become evidence against my dreams.
The mind becomes cruel during such moments. It convinces me that I am weak. It tells me I am not strong enough, intelligent enough, or brave enough. The same person who felt like a wolf yesterday suddenly feels like a coward today. The ambition disappears. The hunger fades. Fear replaces determination.
However, with time, I started paying attention to patterns. I became observant of the days when I felt powerful and the days when my spirit collapsed. Slowly, I realized something important: the wolf never truly disappears. The doubt is the distraction. The strength remains within me, but fear clouds my ability to see it.
I noticed that on the days I feel strongest, I actively feed my mind and spirit with positive habits. I go to the library. I read. I write. I meditate. I take walks or jogs. I dress well. I set boundaries. I say no when necessary. I defend myself respectfully. I protect my energy. In short, I nurture the wolf within me.
I also realized that many of my fears are triggered by what I consume from other people. Negative remarks, discouraging opinions, unnecessary criticism, and toxic influence have the power to weaken even the strongest minds. There are people who constantly project their fears onto others. They discourage ambition because they have given up on their own dreams. They mock confidence because they are uncomfortable with courage.
If one listens to such voices too often, doubt slowly becomes normal.
The moment I began reducing the influence of negativity in my life, something changed within me. My confidence started returning. The wolf spirit regained its life. I learned that not every opinion deserves a place in my mind. Some voices only exist to create confusion and insecurity. Protecting your mind is sometimes more important than proving yourself to people.
Self-awareness became my greatest weapon. Once I understood my emotional patterns, I stopped treating every negative thought as truth. I learned that fear is temporary. Doubt is temporary. Difficult moments are temporary. What matters is refusing to stay trapped there.
There is strength in awareness because awareness allows us to separate reality from fear. Many people destroy themselves by dwelling endlessly on the past. They replay old failures repeatedly until those failures become their identity. Others exhaust themselves trying to control things that cannot be changed.
But healing and growth begin the moment we accept that the past is gone. Mistakes cannot be erased, but they can teach us. Failure cannot be undone, but it can strengthen us.
The truth is that every human being carries both the wolf and the doubt within them. The difference lies in which one we choose to feed consistently. If we feed fear, comparison, negativity, and regret, doubt grows stronger. But if we feed discipline, self-respect, knowledge, courage, and positive habits, the wolf rises again.
READ ALSO: How you can build your self-esteem
Life will always have days of uncertainty. There will be mornings when confidence feels distant and fear feels overwhelming. But we must remember that temporary weakness does not define who we are. One bad moment does not erase our potential. One failure does not cancel our future.
The wolf within us is still alive. It waits patiently beneath the fear, ready to rise the moment we decide to believe in ourselves again.
By Joyce Oduor
Joyce teaches at Lily Senior School, Githurai Kimbo.
You can also follow our social media pages on Twitter: Education News KE and Facebook: Education News Newspaper for timely updates.
>>> Click here to stay up-to-date with trending regional stories
>>> Click here to read more informed opinions on the country’s education landscape
