In a bid to save schools from intermittent cash crunches, the Ministry of Education always compels parents to pay fees on time so that the fountains of knowledge stay afloat, or otherwise their children are sent home.
Today, when I think on the puissant influence of parents on their children, I take a mental flight to what happened to me in the 90s in the Gem of Siaya. The pivotal role played by my grandparents still remains etched in my mortal mind like a printed book. Such episodes stand as epics that remain stenciled in the metal sheets of unfolding generations.
Born outside marriage, my mother later got married in Busia but I was rejected there and I got dejected like a wet hen. My mother eventually took me to my maternal grandparents. When I was seven, Nyar Gem went to meet her maker. Left bereft, I felt sad and sombre. So, it was my grandparents who brought me up from the time I was three to the time I became nineteen years of age. I bid them adieu when I left for university to wrestle with English language and literature.
In these times and climes, I look back and lavish God with plenty of praises. I put my grandparents on a pedestal because through it all, in their own way, their actions honoured the wise words of Mwalimu Julius Nyerere: “It can be done, play your part.”
Those were dreary days, but my grandparents never succumbed to the ginormous jaws of defeat and despair. They raised seven orphans in the pit of poverty. We struggled to make ends meet. Affording a simple meal was like asking for blood donation from mosquitos. Sometimes, we just ate wild fruits and bitter herbs. But my grandparents ensured that we went to school. It is how we prepared for the future.
Malcolm X, the African-American leader also put it aptly, “Education is the passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to the people who prepare for it today.” Today, I am a source of hope and help to my grandparents. They are now old like Ramogi Hills, crowding 80s. But I can pen this piece with plenty of peace because the octogenarians are ageing gracefully.
That explains explicitly why parents should both invest in and invest for their children. For such labour of love shall never go in vain. Investing in their children means that they impart useful values and skills in them. Investing for their children means that they become concerned about their future. King Solomon sagely said that a good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children.
Parents play their part well by focusing on the four Ps: Prioritizing, Providing, Protecting and Praying for their children.
When parents prioritize their children, they budget with the money they have as they think about their welfare; Providing for them means that they supply all their needs both at home and at school and pay for all required levies and academic materials; they Protect their children by shielding them against every form of evil influence; and like Job alluded to in the Bible, they offer orison for their children on a daily basis.
Parents also play their part by putting a premium on the four As: Appreciation, Affection and Assertion of Authority.
On appreciation and affection, parents should recognize every positive thing done by their children. As Gary Chapman recommends in his book titled the 5 Love Languages, parents should try to know the love language that legs up the self-esteem of their children. Of course, these are: words of affirmation, quality time, giving gifts, rendering acts of service and ensuring there is physical touch.
While doing this, parents should not forget to assert authority. Children learn humility and obedience at home. Humility is the spirit of meekness. And meekness is not weakness. Obedience is submission to authority. It behooves parents to teach their children how to submit to all forms of authority.
The conclusion of the matter is, parents cannot play their part if they accept to contract the disease called TB – Too Busy. Parents who subscribe to remote parenting never win the war. Eventually, the character of their children becomes a true reflection of who they are. It is what prompts me to close with what I witnessed when I was working as an administrator in one of the private schools in Nairobi before I jumped into private practice.
We suspended an impudent student from school. She came back to school with her mother. When they entered the staffroom, the mother was sweating profusely at the rate of a leaking pot. She was fuming and frothing like a poisonous snake. She looked at her impertinent daughter and commanded her, “Sit down! You are a cow! In fact, you are a big cow! The daughter also gave her a sinister look, and answered in the full glare of her teachers, “I am not a cow. I am a calf.”
By Victor Ochieng’
The writer is an author and orator. vochieng.90@gmail.com
Get more stories from our website: Education News
You can also follow our social media pages on Twitter: Education News KE and Facebook: Education News Newspaper for timely updates.
