In Kenya, education is often seen as the golden key that unlocks opportunities. Parents sacrifice relentlessly, working extra hours, selling land or taking loans just to afford school fees for their children. For many, enrolling a child in a prestigious private or international school is the ultimate badge of success. It says, ‘We have made it.’
But behind the glossy brochures and manicured lawns of these elite schools lies an unspoken truth: paying fees is just the beginning. Sending your child to a wealthy school means enrolling not only in academics but also in a parallel, silent curriculum; the economy of luxury. In these spaces, belonging is defined not only by grades but also by the brands your child wears, the car that drops them off and the destinations your family vacations at.
In Kenya’s elite schools, pressure is seldom confined to the classroom. Children quickly realize that social ranking is shaped less by intellectual ability and more by material markers. A Form One student may ace mathematics but feel invisible because they don’t own the latest iPhone. A child from a middle class family might have school shoes neatly polished, but among peers flaunting Jordans or Yeezys, they feel outdated.
This silent curriculum is dangerous because it quietly chips away at a child’s self-esteem. When a child constantly feels ‘less than’ because they cannot match up materially, it affects not just their confidence but also their identity. They begin to internalize the lie that their worth is tied to what they have, rather than who they are.
For many parents, paying the required school fees feels like climbing Mt. Kenya; it’s tough but achievable with sacrifice. Yet, in wealthy schools, fees cover only the basics. The real costs lie in keeping up with the lifestyle. Weekend playdates are at Muthaiga homes with swimming pools, not in estates where chapati and football are enough entertainment. School trips are not to the National Museum but to Dubai or Europe.
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Birthday parties are red carpet affairs at luxury hotels, complete with professional photographers. A parent who can barely manage fees finds themselves stretched to breaking point. They may want their child to belong but cannot provide the lifestyle demanded by the environment. The result? Silent shame. Children sense it, internalize it and some even turn rebellious as a coping mechanism.
Of course, elite schools offer undeniable advantages. Smaller class sizes, state of the art facilities, exposure to global cultures and networks that could shape a child’s future. But this exposure can cut both ways. While some children thrive, learning resilience and confidence, others are crushed under the weight of unspoken comparisons.
Teencoach Nomveliso Mbanga captured it well: teenagers in elite schools carry deep challenges often misunderstood by parents. Many parents assume their children are ‘lucky’ to be in such environments, but the reality is more complex. Some of these children battle anxiety, depression and identity crises. They live in worlds where value is defined not by hard work or kindness but by the size of one’s allowance or the brand of one’s sneakers.
In our Kenyan context, where poverty still gnaws at the edges of many families, the paradox is glaring. Parents from middle income households break their backs to afford elite schools, hoping to shield their children from the struggles they faced. Yet in doing so, they may unknowingly expose them to new battles; battles of belonging, peer pressure and quiet inferiority.
It raises an uncomfortable but necessary question: Is it worth it? Is placing a child in an environment where they must constantly compete socially and materially the best choice? Or is it better to choose a ‘humble’ but wholesome school where values, confidence and character can flourish without the noise of luxury?
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The truth is, no school is perfect. But as parents and educators, we must be brutally honest about the hidden curriculum of elite schools. We must ask ourselves whether we are preparing our children for life, or simply for an endless race of appearances. Belonging should not be purchased; it should be nurtured. A child’s worth should not be pegged on the car that drops them at the gate but on the content of their character. As Kenyans, we must resist the creeping culture of materialism that is slowly replacing genuine community values.
What then can parents do? First, be realistic. If you cannot afford the lifestyle of an elite school, do not stretch yourself to breaking point. Choose an environment where your child can thrive holistically. Second, affirm your child. Constantly remind them that their worth is not defined by what they have but by who they are. Third, engage deeply. Don’t just pay fees and disappear. Understand the social pressures your child is facing and walk with them through it. Finally, model values. Children learn more from what they see than what they hear. Demonstrate integrity, humility and self-worth in your own life.
Education in Kenya should not be reduced to an arms race of luxury. Our children deserve more than academic excellence wrapped in social pressure. They deserve environments where they can grow in confidence, character and competence. As we invest in their future, let us not be blinded by prestige while ignoring the silent costs. For in the end, the true measure of success is not the logo on a blazer or the destination of a school trip, but the kind of human being our children become.
By Angel Raphael
Angel Raphael is a teacher, writer who is very passionate about education, literature and shaping the next generation.
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