There are six ways we can practise to make other people feel more valuable while at work place. In Dale Carnegies magnum opus titled How to Win Friends and Influence People, he contends: the ravenous desire for a feeling of self-importance, is one of the chief distinguishing differences between humankind and beasts of the field. So, how do you make people within your sphere of influence have a sweet feeling of self-importance? I present to you the 6 A’s.
- Acceptance
One of the deepest human needs is to be unconditionally accepted by others. That is why we should try by all means to accept and accommodate people even when we can spot fault lines in their mien, manners and demeanors. We express our acceptance by looking directly at them. Then, by wearing some mile-wide smile. We do it when we meet and greet them. Then, we say something lively, lovely and uplifting. Likewise, we laud their efforts. This makes them feel valuable, noble and important. It legs up their self-esteem. It is a vital vitamin to what putative psychologists Sigmund Freud described as the ego.
- Appreciation
When you appreciate others for anything they did or said, you raise their self-esteem. You also augment their likeability. In the distant past, the putative psychologist Dr. William James advised, “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” Ideally, the easiest way to express appreciation is simply to say “thank you” for anything that the person does or says. It looks helpful and useful. You can thank people for their penchant for punctuality. You can thank people for making useful contributions in the organisation. Largely, when people are thanked, they feel more valuable, respected and important. The courteous statements like “thank you”, “well done”, “more power to your elbows” and more – are powerful when it comes to ways of making people feel important in any sensible setting.
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- Admiration
American 16th President Abraham Lincoln put it aptly, “Everyone likes a compliment.” When we compliment people on anything they do or say – or on any of their possessions – they feel more valuable and important – their levels of self-confidence soars high to the sky. Therefore, it behooves us to continually look for umpteen ways of complimenting people we are working with. On a good note, we can admire their dress codes or pens. Ostensibly, even looking at a person, smiling, and nodding in a complimentary way can cause him or her feel more valued and important. But not all forms of admiration must lead to seduction. For we cannot go everywhere seducing everyone and anyone. That is dearth and death of good manners.
- Approval
You may have heard the saying, “Babies cry for it, and grown men die for it.” That is the veracity of the matter. People long for approval from others – especially that which can emanate from people they look up to and respect. Every time we lavish people with plenty of praises, we raise their self-esteem, improve their self-image, and make them feel better about themselves. The more we praise and approve the work and contributions of other people, the more and better contributions they will make. The more they will like us, and support our ideals and ideas.
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- Attention
People always pay meticulous attention to people and things that they value to a great extent. As the dictum dictates: Life is the study of attention. Whenever you pay close attention to another person, s/he feels more valuable and noble. The key to paying attention is to listen carefully and keenly when another person speaks. Discretion should guide you in such instances so that you do not interrupt other people when they are speaking. For to be blunt about it. That, is bad manners, poverty of etiquette and paucity of effective listening skills. Look at the person directly and hang on every word uttered. Maintain meaningful eye contact. As a minimal prompt, nod, or smile – as the other person speaks. For when others feel that they are being closely listened to, their self-esteem automatically augments. Their brains secrete endorphins (feel good hormones). So, they feel happier, healthier – and more positive about themselves. They derive worth from work. As a leader, such people associate you with these good feelings. Therefore, your influence over them experiences tremendous increase.
- Agreement
Finally, always find ways to agree with others. It is not good to be a lone-ranger who loves to court controversy at all cost. Avoid baseless criticism. Do not be a gifted fault-finder. By all means, in your dealings with mere mortals, focus on the good, not the bad and ugly. Dig for good in people. Do not dig for dirt and dust in others. In a meeting, when you sit next to a person rather than opposite him or her, unseen psychological barriers seem to drop. They all melt like butter exposed to heat. Or like ghee, they say. In the whole scheme of things, you communicate with greater warmth, and conjure cordial relationships.
By Victor Ochieng’
The writer rolls out talks and training services. vochieng.90@gmail.com. 0704420232
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