True leadership isn’t about being popular

By Kamomonti wa Kiambati
Steve Jobs said, “If you want to make everyone happy, don’t be a leader. Sell ice cream”. Here’s why real success often means being disliked.
Steve Jobs once said, “If you want to make everyone happy, don’t be a leader. Sell ice cream.” At first glance, the statement might sound harsh or tongue-in-cheek, but it holds a profound truth about the nature of leadership and success. In a world that often glorifies popularity, likes, and social validation, we tend to forget that true leadership demands courage, conviction, and the willingness to stand alone when necessary. Jobs, known for his unrelenting pursuit of excellence and innovation, was no stranger to criticism or controversy. Yet, it was precisely his boldness, his refusal to settle for mediocrity, and his vision that transformed industries and changed the world.
Leadership, at its core, is not about making people comfortable. It is about making things better. And to improve anything—an organization, a community, a classroom, or even a country—a leader must challenge the status quo. That inevitably causes friction. People don’t like being pushed out of their comfort zones. They resist change and often resist the people who bring it. A leader who constantly strives to please everyone may avoid conflict, but they will also avoid progress. They will end up being agreeable but ineffective. The paradox is this: the more serious you are about leading, the more you must be ready to be disliked.
Real success, which leaves a legacy, rarely comes wrapped in universal approval. In fact, some of the most admired figures in history—think of Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, or even Jesus Christ—were all hated, misunderstood, or attacked at one point or another. Their messages threatened entrenched interests. Their courage unsettled the complacent. Their convictions called others to higher standards. To lead purposefully is to risk being misjudged, resisted, and sometimes even betrayed. But to not lead—to shrink back in fear of disapproval—is to forfeit the opportunity to make a difference.
The pressure to be liked can be overwhelming in the modern world, where social media amplifies every voice and criticism travels faster than ever. But leadership requires a different kind of character. It calls for people who are grounded in values, driven by purpose, and willing to carry the weight of unpopularity if it means moving things forward. It means saying no when others want a yes. It means speaking up when silence is easier. It means setting standards when the crowd prefers compromise.
Steve Jobs was famously demanding. He pushed his teams to the brink because he believed they could create magic. Many called him arrogant, abrasive, or unkind. Yet, decades later, his name is associated with one of the most innovative companies in history. He understood that greatness requires discomfort, that legendary products do not come from a culture of mediocrity, and that true leaders are not cheerleaders for the crowd—they are trailblazers for the future.
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Success often means walking a lonely road. When a leader enforces discipline, people may call them harsh. When they uphold integrity, they might be called rigid. When they prioritize purpose over popularity, they might be labeled stubborn or out of touch. But it is precisely this resolve that separates a leader from a follower. The reward is not immediate applause—it is a long-term impact.
Of course, this is not to say that leaders should be insensitive, authoritarian, or dismissive of others. Emotional intelligence, empathy, and communication are vital in leadership. But those virtues must be balanced with backbone. A leader without empathy becomes a tyrant, but a leader without courage becomes a puppet. Real influence lies in the ability to care deeply about people while remaining steadfast in the mission. Sometimes, that care means being honest, even when the truth stings. Sometimes, it means making decisions that hurt in the short term but heal in the long term. It means being willing to take the heat today to bring the light tomorrow.
Every leader must wrestle with this tension. The desire to be liked is human, but the call to lead is higher. It demands sacrifice, clarity, humility to listen, and strength to act. The world may not always celebrate such leaders in the moment. They may be criticized, caricatured, or even canceled. But history has a way of vindicating those who stayed true.
In the end, leadership is not for the faint-hearted. It’s for those who understand that ice cream may sweeten the moment but cannot change the world. Only vision, grit, and the courage to face disapproval can do that. So if your dream is to make a real difference, brace yourself. There will be seasons when people misunderstand you, mock you, or walk away. Let them. Because you weren’t called to be liked. You were called to lead.
By Kamomonti wa Kiambati
Kamomonti teaches English and Literature in Gatundu North Sub County.
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