When the school bell rings for the last time and the boys toss their ink stained shirts into the air, Kenya witnesses an ancient transformation in a modern body. The national assessments are over and the so called ‘freedom season’ begins; that strange, in between space where boys are no longer school boys but not yet men. What follows is an unofficial curriculum, taught not in classrooms but in the chaotic university of the streets, peer groups and misplaced definitions of manhood.
For generations, this season has carried its own rites of passage; from traditional circumcision ceremonies to the modern madness of parties, piercings and premature freedom. Every year, thousands of boys in Kenya step into this fiery initiation, each convinced he is becoming a man. The question is; what kind of man?
In the days of our fathers, becoming a man was not an accident. It was a deliberate, sacred journey. Among the Kikuyu, Kalenjin, Luhya, Kisii, Meru and other communities, the initiation was a holistic process; physical, emotional, spiritual and communal. It was not just about the knife; it was about the mind. Elders taught boys the language of responsibility; how to protect a family, till the land, respect women, fear God, and honor the community. Boys were secluded, not to rot in idleness but to be reshaped. They came out of the ituĩka season humbled, wise and ready to serve. There was structure. There was mentorship. There was a sense of sacredness.
But today, the same rituals are performed with plastic knives and metallic hearts. Tradition has lost its soul. The songs have turned vulgar. The teachings are shallow, and the ‘elders’ are drunk uncles with Bluetooth speakers. The transition that once symbolized maturity has been reduced to an expensive party of ignorance. The deep spiritual and moral reformation that made boys into men has been replaced with the shallow thrill of rebellion and pleasure.
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Enter the 21st century boy; raised on Wi-Fi, TikTok and toxic masculinity. His rite of passage is no longer about resilience or character; it’s about rebellion and attention. Once KCSE ends, Nairobi, Nakuru, Kisumu and every other town explode into a circus of teenage liberation. The new ritual? A wild party with forbidden music. A first taste of alcohol, often forced by peers. A ‘proving ground’ where he must impress the girls or risk being called ‘soft.’ And for some, a reckless holiday in Mombasa; with no supervision, no plan and no purpose. The motivation is simple: to feel grown.
Unfortunately, the metrics of maturity have shifted from wisdom to wildness. The boy who drinks the most, spends the most and disrespects the most becomes the hero of the hour. Meanwhile, social media fuels the fire; boys post videos flaunting alcohol bottles, fake designer shirts and questionable dance moves, captioned: ‘Finally free!’ But freedom without direction is a highway to destruction. And while parents breathe a sigh of relief that ‘he’s done with school,’ few realize he’s entering the most dangerous semester of his life; the school of self-discovery without supervision.
Yet, not everything about this season is doom and foolishness. There is some good in the chaos. Post school freedom gives boys a chance to explore identity beyond uniforms and timetables. Some pick up new skills, join mentorship programs, start small businesses or even rediscover faith. Many boys; especially those guided by wise parents or mentors; emerge with deeper self-awareness and clearer goals. This period also reveals natural leadership. The boy learns to make decisions, handle temptation and choose his path. For some, failure becomes the best teacher. They burn their fingers early and learn humility before the real world burns them again.
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The tragedy, however, is that we’ve left boys to figure out manhood through YouTube, peers and pop culture. The traditional mentoring systems; the elders, the church, the extended family; have gone mute. Today, boys grow up seeing masculinity as aggression, womanizing and emotional coldness. Fathers are absent; physically or emotionally. Mothers are tired. Schools are focused on grades, not growth.
So, who will teach the boy what being a man really means? The vacuum is quickly filled by social media influencers and street philosophy. The message is clear: ‘To be a man, dominate. To be respected, intimidate. To be strong, never cry.’ That’s how we breed emotionally crippled men; walking shells of insecurity dressed in arrogance.
Every December, the newspapers tell the same sad stories; boys found drunk in ditches, accidents after late night parties, pregnancies, fights, theft, even death. The ugliest truth is that many of these boys never recover. Some end up addicts before they ever hold a payslip. Others impregnate girls and carry guilt that derails their dreams. A few get caught in crime; not because they were born bad, but because nobody taught them that freedom must walk hand in hand with discipline. What was meant to be a rite of passage turns into a rite of regret.
Yet, all is not lost. Kenya is slowly awakening to the need for structured post school mentorship. Churches, community organizations and men’s groups are reintroducing rites of passage with relevance. These programs blend tradition with truth; teaching hygiene, responsibility, sexual purity, respect for women, emotional intelligence and purpose. Some counties now have youth empowerment camps where boys are taught practical life skills; from budgeting to communication. That’s the rebirth of manhood Kenya desperately needs. Because the real rite of passage isn’t circumcision or celebration; it’s transformation. It’s the day a boy learns that manhood is not about what happens to you, but what happens within you.
The old ways may be fading, but the hunger for meaning remains. What Kenya must do is modernize, not abandon, our rites of passage. We must strip away the empty rituals and revive the essence: mentorship, discipline and dignity. Because without structured guidance, the modern boy will grow into an old man still trying to prove he’s one. The real graduation is not from school; it’s from foolishness.
By Angel Raphael
Angel Raphael is a seasoned English teacher and passionate boys’ mentor who inspires young men to rise above peer pressure and embrace manhood with purpose, discipline and dignity.
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