Sending your child to boarding school denies parent one of his cardinal roles – parenting

Kamomonti wa Kiambati

The decision to send a child to boarding school is one that many parents grapple with. While boarding schools have long been associated with prestige, academic excellence, and structured environments, they are also increasingly seen as isolating and potentially harmful to the emotional well-being of children. Students’ experiences in such institutions can vary widely, depending on factors such as the school’s environment, the child’s temperament, and the reasons for enrollment. This article examines the pros and cons of sending a child to boarding school, offering a balanced perspective.

One of the most prominent advantages of boarding schools is the academic rigor they often provide. Many of these schools are known for high academic standards, offering a curriculum designed to challenge and prepare students for higher education. The structured environment in boarding schools helps students develop self-discipline, time management, and a strong work ethic. With fewer distractions, students are encouraged to focus on their studies, and the constant availability of teachers and tutors offers academic support that is not always possible in a day school.

Life skills

Another key benefit is the development of independence and life skills. Children in boarding schools are often responsible for managing aspects of their daily lives, such as keeping their spaces tidy, managing their time, and navigating social relationships. This independence helps to foster a sense of responsibility and maturity. Furthermore, many boarding schools offer a variety of extracurricular activities, from sports to arts and music, allowing students to explore different interests and talents while developing well-rounded personalities.

Additionally, boarding schools often create a close-knit community. The shared experience of living and studying together can form strong bonds between students, usually leading to lifelong friendships. In such environments, children learn to collaborate, respect others’ space, and navigate complex social dynamics, which are invaluable in adult life. Some children thrive in this setting, enjoying the camaraderie and the structure that boarding schools provide.

However, while there are several advantages, boarding schools are not without significant downsides. One of the major criticisms is the emotional toll it can take on children, particularly younger ones. Being away from family for extended periods can lead to feelings of loneliness, abandonment, or homesickness. For children, the family unit provides a crucial emotional support system, and the absence of this can be distressing. Even in the best boarding schools, it is not easy to replicate the warmth, care, and love of a family environment. Children may feel neglected, particularly if they interpret being sent to boarding school as punishment, which can strain parent-child relationships.

There is also the concern that total strangers may raise children. While teachers and boarding school staff may be professional and dedicated, they are not substitutes for parents. The level of emotional care and attention a parent can provide is irreplaceable, and the risk of children feeling emotionally detached is significant. Moreover, staff members may not always be able to address each child’s emotional needs, leaving some children feeling unsupported.

Negative habits

Another issue is that boarding schools can become environments where negative habits and behaviors are cultivated. Peer influence plays a substantial role in shaping children’s attitudes and behaviors; not all students may have positive influences. Some children may pick up bad habits, such as smoking, bullying, or rebellious attitudes, which are difficult for teachers to monitor around the clock. Some children may be more susceptible to these negative influences without parental guidance. The lack of family oversight in critical developmental years can result in a moral vacuum, where children struggle to discern right from wrong without consistently reinforcing family values.

The issue of parental involvement is also critical. Parents may unintentionally reduce their participation in their child’s upbringing by sending children to boarding school. Although some parents argue that boarding school provides a structured environment that is difficult to create at home, the reality is that children benefit significantly from regular parental involvement. A parent’s presence during a child’s formative years is crucial for emotional development, instilling values, and providing a sense of security. For some children, boarding school might feel like a detachment from these essential aspects of childhood.

Economic strain

Financial considerations are another drawback. Boarding schools can be expensive, often significantly more costly than day schools. This economic strain can be considerable for parents, especially if the family sacrifices other essential needs to afford the school fees. Moreover, the investment in boarding school education may not always yield the desired results if the child struggles to adapt to the environment or does not perform well academically due to emotional distress.

In conclusion, the decision to send a child to boarding school requires careful thought and consideration of the individual child’s needs and temperament. While boarding schools can offer a structured environment, academic rigor, and opportunities for personal growth, they also have the potential for emotional distress, detachment from family, and exposure to negative peer influences. For some children, the boarding school experience may be positive, fostering independence and resilience. However, for others, it can feel isolating and alienating. Parents must weigh the pros and cons carefully, considering that no institution can completely replace the emotional and developmental support that a family provides. Ultimately, the best decision considers the child’s unique needs, the family dynamic, and the long-term goals for the child’s education and well-being.

By Kamomonti wa Kiambati

Kamomonti teaches English and Literature in Gatundu North Sub County.

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