The Kenya Junior Secondary Education Assessment (KJSEA) exam results will arrive tomorrow, carrying with them a familiar mixture of anxiety, hope, excitement and fear. Every household with a candidate will feel something shift as the results appear on a screen or an SMS arrives. Some families will erupt in celebration. Others will sit quietly, feeling the blow of disappointment. Many will be unsure of what to say or how to respond. But in all these emotions, one truth remains unchanged and unchangeable: your child is still your child, regardless of what the results say. Whether the child exceeds or is below expectations. A parent’s love for a child isn’t dependent of school grades.
Exam grades are not destinies. They are not definitions of intelligence. They are not measures of character. They are simply reflections of performance on a single system of assessment, influenced by dozens of factors – preparation, health, stress levels, confidence, learning environment, and sometimes pure luck. A grade cannot capture your child’s creativity, kindness, resilience, humour, talents or potential. It cannot see the nights they stayed up revising, the courage they carried into the exam room, the quiet determination behind every page they read. Grades do not reveal their struggles, their strengths, or their dreams. Yet many parents accidentally give exams a power they do not deserve.
When results are good, it is natural to feel proud. Success is sweet, and celebration is healthy. But even in celebration, remember that achievement does not make one child more lovable or more worthy than another. Praise the effort, discipline and growth that led to the success rather than the number printed on the result slip. When children feel valued for their hard work and character, they learn to chase excellence without fear. They learn to embrace learning as a journey, not a competition.
When results fall below expectations, emotions can easily drift toward frustration or blame. Parents may wonder what went wrong. Some may compare their children with neighbours, relatives or classmates. But this is the moment that defines true parental love: the moment when disappointment shifts into compassion rather than criticism. Children already feel the weight of their performance long before adults react. They know the exam was important. They know what they hoped for. What they need most at this moment is reassurance that their worth as sons and daughters has not changed.
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A child who receives poor results does not need anger; they need understanding. They do not need lectures; they need comfort. They do not need to be reminded of “what they should have done”; they need a parent who says,“It’s okay. We will figure the next step together.” When a child feels safe after failure, their confidence does not break. They learn resilience. They learn that setbacks do not end their journey. They begin to understand that life offers second chances, alternative paths, and new beginnings.
Parents hold enormous influence in shaping how children interpret exam results. A supportive, calm and loving response can turn even disappointing grades into stepping stones. But a harsh, emotionally charged response can plant seeds of shame, fear and self-doubt that take years to undo. Some children withdraw. Some lose interest in learning. Others begin to believe they are “failures,” not because they are, but because that is the message they internalize.
As results come in, remember that children are observant. They read facial expressions. They hear tone more loudly than words. They can sense tension in the room. So breathe before reacting. Centre yourself before speaking. If the results are not what you hoped for, resist the immediate urge to ask “Why?” or “How could you?” Instead, ask “How do you feel?” and “What would you like us to do next?” This shifts the focus from judgment to partnership.
If the results are excellent, celebrate responsibly. A child who excels today deserves joy, but not superiority. Teach them humility. Teach them gratitude. Let them know that their effort paid off and that the same effort will sustain them in the next stage. Encourage them to lift others rather than look down on them. Exams may separate students academically, but they should never divide them emotionally.
If the results are average, remember that most of life is lived in the middle, not at extremes. The world is built by people who were not necessarily top of their class, but who were consistent, hardworking, ethical, creative and determined. Middle performance is not mediocrity. It is simply a foundation that can be improved, redirected or strengthened with time.
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Parents should also remember that this is only one exam within a long educational journey. The transition to senior school opens many pathways: STEM, humanities, sports science, performing arts, technical and vocational routes, entrepreneurship tracks, and many others. Every child can find a path where their strengths can shine. Not everyone needs to be number one in an exam to thrive in life. Many successful adults were not the stars of their school days, but they discovered their abilities, built skills, followed curiosity and found purpose.
What children need most now is a home environment that feels safe, warm and accepting. They need parents who listen more than they judge. They need guardians who encourage them to dream, to keep learning, and to trust themselves. They need adults who show them that character matters more than ranking. They need unconditional love – not the kind given only when they perform well, but the kind that holds steady even when they struggle.
Tomorrow, as the KJSEA results are released, let us all choose love over pressure, empathy over comparison, support over criticism. Let us remind our children that their lives are bigger than any exam, their identity deeper than any grade and their future brighter than any temporary setback. Whether they exceed expectations or fall short, they deserve the same hug, the same smile, the same reassurance.
Because at the end of the day, nothing – absolutely nothing – changes the truth that they are your children and their worth cannot be measured by marks on a sheet. Their lives are just beginning, and your love is the anchor that will steady them as they take their next steps forward.
By Ashford Kimani
Ashford teaches English and Literature in Gatundu North Sub-county and serves as Dean of Studies. He was shortlisted for the PSC chair.
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