Dr. Gonye JM, enshrines winsome wisdom in his best-selling book titled: Quit On a Child? In that heroic book, he posits that every child is unique. Somewhat, children are wired differently. Just like the five human fingers; they are different. That is why I think you cannot use the same script to parent child A and B. Find out whether your child is in any type cited in this treatise.
- The Pushy Child
This type of child tends to be less verbal. But may act in a very determined manner. This calibre of a child seems to be quite controlling. The child looks to be less loving and ambivalent towards his parents. In order to help this type of child, the parent should cultivate that sort of relation that is rife with objectivity on a less emotional level.
- The Outgoing Child
This type of child is quite curious and expressive. The child is warm, loving, helpful and talkative. Such a child appeals to many people because s/he shows interest in others, and pleases people. This child may appear to be very obedient by answering affirmatively to requests from parents, but may fail to perform as per the request. This child has good ideas to execute, but sometimes gets disappointed after discovering that it is difficult to accomplish them. The main aim of this young human being is quantity than quality. Therefore, a wise parent should help such a child to dig deep and find out areas of expertise and interests. Then, concentrate on areas of strength. Instead of spreading too thin. Such a child will do well in what you inspect, and not what you expect.
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- The Peacemaker Child
This child is also known as Compliant Child. Such a child does not want anyone to get upset. The child is a cool kid who likes to be calm. The child hates getting into arguments. The child avoids all forms of confrontation. But appears somehow shy and withdrawn. This child needs a lot of love support: Time and quality conversation with the parent. This child survives and thrives on sincere praise and gentle requests. In case you make demands, you break the heart of this child. Therefore, to help such a child, explain things calmly without any iota of violence. Show the child exactly what you want done. Give positive affirmations: Statements that depict you believe in the child. Then, make sure that you do not expect too much before assigning the task.
- The Attention-getter Child
Such a child always wants to be the centre of affection, attention and attraction. This child can do anything, even the wrong, in order to grab your attention and concentration. The attention-getter finds fulfilment after stealing the show. Any attention, even attention in the form of punishment, is better than none at all. As a parent, ensure that you give this child quality time. Or else, attention can be sought elsewhere. For this child can behave like a hyena that just makes noise in the bush for no good reason.
- The Power-thirsty Child
This is a small lion or lioness. Also known as a Strong-willed Child. This child, basically wants to be the boss at all cost. The child may be stubborn, boisterous, do little, or no work at all. Such a child thinks there is no other good opinion that counts. The child assumes total control and dominates the environment. The child finds contentment after getting something. As a parent, you should not give in to this obnoxious behaviour. However, you should look at the demands since some of them may have sure substance. Reward some behaviour. Ignore some and punish others. Be firm and fair, but do not give in to ridiculous demands. This child can turn to a hoodlum attempting to hoodwink into petty and pedantic power struggles. Yet, you have nothing to prove. For you are already the parent. You are the boss. You have the knife. You have the yam. You can junk any portion. Therefore, be wise, not otherwise. Tactfully, edge away from such unnecessary power struggles. Take charge. Assert authority.
- The Vengeful Child
This one is like a bear, a very aggressive animal. This child is generally aggressive, combative and physically tries to influence things to go in a certain way. This one is a bully bull who kicks, pushes and assaults peers. May have the tendency to hurt animals or even vandalising property. Such a child needs close supervision, or else, can be a threat to others. Parents should be vigilant, firm and become consistent in punishing vengeful behaviour. A child who is vengeful should not be allowed to go scot-free. Let the child learn early in life that there is a hefty price to pay when you hurt someone else. Also, on the other side of the coin. Be keen to notice good behaviour. Dig for gold or good. Do not dig for dirt, dust or dung. Reward with praise and affection.
- The Inadequate Child
This is the delicate child that looks like a bunny or rabbit. This is the child who finds it hard to withstand intense pressure and stress. The child always wants to be left alone with little or no expectations. This child shuns group participation. The child can give up easily. Such a child has thoughts of inferiority. Great expectations from parents or teachers, makes this child to feel quite inadequate. Such a child needs a lot of support and affirmations for all attempts made, not just successes. As a parent, make this child know that no one can do everything, but everyone can do something.
By Victor Ochieng’
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