Discipline is one of the greatest gifts a parent can give a child. It lays the foundation for self-control, responsibility, and respect – qualities that are essential for success not just in school, but in every area of life. Yet, as classrooms across the country continue to struggle with unruly behaviour and constant disruptions, a glaring question must be asked: Are we, as parents, disciplining our children adequately at home so they can learn effectively at school?
Schools are often blamed for failing to deliver good results. Fingers point at teachers, administrators, or curriculum changes. But rarely do we consider that a large portion of classroom challenges stem from the home. Many children walk into school having never been taught how to sit still, listen, follow instructions, or wait their turn. They are often allowed to talk back, throw tantrums, and avoid consequences. When these habits enter the classroom, learning takes a backseat to chaos.
It is not the responsibility of a teacher to raise your child. That duty begins at home. Teachers are trained to educate, not to parent. Yet, in many classrooms, they are forced to spend more time managing disruptive behavior than delivering lessons. When a teacher must stop instruction every few minutes to deal with a defiant student, the whole class loses valuable learning time. Everyone pays the price – including the child whose behavior is out of control.
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This is not about blaming parents. It is about urging a return to the basic values of structure, consistency, and accountability. Children who grow up without clear boundaries often struggle with authority and self-regulation. They resist correction and fail to understand the consequences of their actions. Eventually, this affects their academic performance, their social interactions, and their long-term prospects.
Discipline is not punishment. It is training. It involves setting clear expectations, following through with consequences, and reinforcing positive behavior. It means teaching children to respect others, to be honest, to take responsibility, and to persevere. These values don’t come naturally. They are cultivated at home, one day at a time, through love, firmness, and consistency.
It begins with simple, practical steps. Establish regular routines. Make sure your child knows when to wake up, when to do homework, when to eat, and when to go to bed. Enforce rules about screen time. Insist on polite language – no shouting, name-calling, or disrespectful talk. Teach your child how to apologize and make amends. Encourage them to complete tasks even when they are difficult. These small, everyday lessons build the internal discipline a child needs to thrive at school.
It’s also important to model the behavior you want to see. Children learn more from what we do than what we say. If you are respectful, calm under pressure, and take responsibility for your actions, your child is more likely to do the same. On the other hand, if you constantly shout, blame others, or break rules, don’t be surprised if your child mirrors that behavior in the classroom.
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Many parents defend their children blindly when issues arise at school. They accuse teachers of being too harsh, too demanding, or biased. While some concerns may be valid, it is vital to listen with an open mind. If a teacher says your child is struggling with behavior, take it seriously. Work with the school, not against it. Ask how you can help reinforce good behavior at home. Support the teacher’s efforts to create a stable learning environment.
Remember, a teacher’s correction is not an attack on your child. It is a lifeline. It is an attempt to guide, to intervene, and to help. When parents and teachers work together, the results are powerful. When they are in conflict, the child is caught in the middle and suffers most.
Many teachers are demoralized not because of low pay or large workloads, but because they feel unsupported. They deal daily with disrespectful students and indifferent parents. They are expected to fix what was broken long before the child entered the school gates. This is unfair and unsustainable. No amount of professional development or policy reform can replace the influence of strong parenting.
Let’s also recognize that discipline is not about harshness. It must be rooted in love. A disciplined child knows that rules are there to protect them. They understand that correction is not rejection. It is guidance. Parents must discipline with empathy, balancing firmness with kindness, authority with understanding.
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Discipline provides children with a sense of security. It tells them that someone cares enough to set limits. Without it, children feel untethered. They test boundaries constantly, seeking attention and control. In a classroom, this leads to power struggles, distractions, and eventual failure. In life, it leads to broken relationships, poor choices, and unmet potential.
The most successful students are not always the most intelligent, but often the most disciplined. They come to class prepared. They complete assignments on time. They respect their teachers and peers. These habits are not picked up by chance. They are the result of intentional parenting.
In the end, the classroom is only as strong as the homes that support it. If we want better results from our schools, we must start with our families. Let us not wait for children to be corrected by systems that are overburdened and impersonal. Let us begin at home, where love and structure can shape young minds and hearts.
Discipline your children not because you want to control them, but because you want them to be free—free to learn, to grow, and to succeed. A disciplined child is a teachable child. And a teachable child is one step closer to becoming a responsible, capable, and fulfilled adult.
The classroom is calling. Let’s send children who are ready to learn.
By Ashford Kimani
Ashford teaches English and Literature in Gatundu North Sub County where he serves as Dean of Studies.
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