In homes across the world, there’s a quiet epidemic unfolding – not of disease, but of disconnection. A growing number of parents, overwhelmed by life’s demands, are unknowingly handing over the vital responsibility of raising their children to screens. It starts innocently enough: a phone to keep the toddler busy, a tablet to calm the tantrum, a gaming console to keep the older child entertained. Before long, the screen becomes the parent, the teacher, the friend, and the disciplinarian.
Let’s say it plainly: screens are not substitutes for parenting.
Yes, today’s world is fast-paced. Parents are juggling work, bills, their own mental health, and the emotional demands of family life. However, none of this alters the fundamental truth—being a parent is an active, full-time, hands-on role that cannot be delegated to devices. No phone app can teach your child compassion. No PS4 can instil resilience. No TikTok video can replace your values, your voice or your presence.
We are witnessing the effects of screen parenting in schools, clinics, and homes. Children addicted to gadgets, unable to focus for more than a few minutes. Children who throw violent tantrums when their devices are taken away. Children who have never played outside, never held a real conversation, and never read a physical book. They struggle with empathy, attention, and basic emotional regulation. These are not just tech issues. These are parenting issues.
And let’s not pretend this is only a “modern” problem. Even in households with limited access to the latest gadgets, the temptation to let a phone or TV “keep the child busy” is high. But what is the long-term cost of that temporary peace?
When we rely on devices to distract our children, we rob them of crucial developmental moments: the chance to get bored and solve it creatively, the opportunity to learn patience, and the joy of connecting with other human beings. More importantly, we rob ourselves of precious chances to bond, guide, and grow alongside them.
Parenting is not passive. It’s not background noise while a cartoon plays. It’s intentional. It’s hands-on. It’s about being present, even when it’s complicated, boring, or inconvenient. It’s about teaching children how to think, not what to consume. And yes, it means setting rules and boundaries, even when the child protests with tears or tantrums.
Too many parents now fear saying “no.” They allow endless screen time to avoid conflict, not realizing that conflict is where growth begins. Children need boundaries. They need routine, discipline, and structure. They need to hear “no, not today” and “you need to wait” and “let’s find something else to do.” This is how they learn self-control and patience. Not through apps, but through parents who are present and firm.
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It’s not just about limiting screen time. It’s about replacing it with something better: conversations, outdoor play, shared meals, chores, and real connection. These seemingly simple moments are where values are passed on. A child helping set the table learns responsibility. A child playing in the dirt learns about the world. A child having a real chat with a parent learns to trust, express, and listen.
And we must also talk about modeling behavior. Parents can’t expect children to put down their devices while scrolling endlessly themselves. Children are mirrors. If they see their parents constantly glued to a screen, they will assume that’s normal. If they hear “just a minute” every time they seek attention, they will turn to devices that don’t make them wait. The habits we model are the habits they learn.
To be a parent in this digital age means swimming upstream. It means resisting the pull of convenience and choosing what’s best, not what’s easiest. It means unplugging – not just your child, but yourself – and investing time, energy, and emotion into the human being you’re raising.
Let’s also recognize that parenting is not about perfection. No one gets it right every day. There will be moments when a cartoon helps you finish cooking dinner, or when a video game buys you some peace and quiet. That’s okay. The issue is not occasional use – it’s chronic dependence. When devices become the default, the norm, the fallback – that’s when parenting begins to slip away.
Let us reclaim the role. Be the one who tucks in your child at night, who listens to their fears, who teaches them how to say “thank you,” and how to lose gracefully. Be the one who disciplines with love, who sets screen-time limits, who says, “let’s go outside” instead of “just watch something.” Be the one who makes memories they’ll treasure – not because of what they watched, but because of what they shared with you.
Be a parent. Not a tech manager. Not a babysitter. A parent.
No device can comfort a child after a hard day like you can. No video game can teach integrity, kindness, or courage. No social media influencer can replace the steady, guiding presence of a parent who is fully present.
So unplug. Look them in the eyes. Ask questions. Set boundaries. Laugh together. Read together. Eat together. Fight through the hard days together.
Because one day soon, they’ll grow up. They’ll leave the house with the habits, the resilience, and the values you instilled – or didn’t. They’ll face a world full of screens, noise, and temptation. And what will anchor them then won’t be the apps they downloaded, but the parenting they received.
Be a parent because your child is worth far more than any device ever invented.
By Ashford Kimani
Ashford teaches English and Literature in Gatundu North Sub County and serves as Dean of Studies.
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