Today, I remember fondly, in the recent past, every time I visited Kisima Girls’ School in Maralal, Samburu County, to colour what other architects have strived to build over time, I was always enthused by the warm reception and exceptional hospitality of the Emeritus Principal – Mrs Flora Aloyo, who is now working with the County Government of Homa Bay County.
As a peripatetic speaker, I miss this. The love and largesse of the retired, but not tired Chief Principal of the great national girls’ school in the back of beyond. For the glad days I visited Kisima Girls’ School to talk to students or staff, the Chief Principal evinced excellent-customer-service. Then, she always insisted that we share a yummy meal in her house, which was located at a stone-throw distance from the administration block.
Breaking the fast together, sharing luscious lunch and savouring sumptuous supper in the Principal’s place of residence may look simple, but I write about it because I see useful leadership lessons in it. As a consultant who visits several schools across the country, there are places I have visited, but felt bereft and left out because of the chilly reception precipitated with lack of courtesy. As a scribe, I describe warm reception as the best way of building best bonds, forging friendship and establishing rapport with guests.
Albeit, when I hinted to Madam Principal that I was intending to write about her magnanimity and motherly mien, she just laughed it off the way Sarah, wonderful wife of the Christian patriarch – Abraham – did in the palpable presence of three anonymous guests. I hope you remember the guests they entertained with scant knowledge that they were ethereal things or celestial beings — angels (Hebrews 13:1).
Apart from being good to guests, Flora, who is beautiful like fresh festoon of flowers, knew how to build rapport with people within her ‘circle of safety’. This wise woman with a pleasant personality practised some good ideas I read in a heroic book. Chip R. Bell titled it Managers as Mentors.
READ ALSO:
President orders closed Pokot-Marakwet border schools to reopen in May
Actually, when the Principal goes the extra mile to prepare a yummy meal in her house for guests and staff, I see it as a privilege, not a prerogative. No one should take such a great generous gesture for granted. For it pictures the administrator as someone who is open, loving, caring and in touch with people in her ‘circle of safety’.
Moreover, it is advisable for leaders to develop some unique technique of building rapport such as sharing yummy meals, leveling communications, gifting gestures, receptivity for feelings and reflective responses. Just as Madam Flora knows that rapport begins with leveling communications, which focuses on openness and Unconditional Positive Regard (UPR). In the distant past, the great psychologist called Carl Rogers penned precious pieces on how such acts cement human relationships.
Consequently, receptivity for feelings and reflective responses — promote kinship, closeness and true trust. Gifting gestures acknowledge that actions speak louder than words. Establishing rapport is akin to courtship. You do not say, “Hi Jill, I am Jack. Let us get married. How is tomorrow at three?”
Somewhat, there are little matters of dating like gifts, visits, meeting the family, talking about it, et cetera — all the preliminaries that precede a long-lasting relationship. Madam Flora is good at kindling kinship through excellent establishment of rapport. The word ‘rapport’ has its provenance in an old French word that means ‘bringing back’ or ‘harmony renewed’. Therefore, rapport majorly focuses on actions aimed at restoring the security of the bond with which we begin life: infant and mother. Life, for most of us, does not begin with anxiety or fear. Too true. Life commences with security and trust.
No wonder, leaders should create ‘circles of safety’. Simon Sinek argues that way in his heroic book titled Leaders Eat Last. The Spartans, super-powers in the ancient Greece, were highly feared due to strength, stamina, courage and endurance. Their military prowess did not spring from sharpness of spears, but from the strength of their shields.
Likewise, the strength of an institution does not abut on the éclat of an elegant gate or beautiful buildings that display accurate architectural designs, but it is the bond built. Every person plays an integral role when it comes to maintenance of ‘circle of safety’.
Madam Flora understands that her staff, students and guests ― are people’s sons and daughters who long for love and care. As put aptly by Theodore Roosevelt, “People do not care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Therefore, as a mother, manager and mentor, she has a royal role. Managers like Madam Flora are perfect parents. No wonder, even if she delegates, she still gets concerned about every nook and cranny.
As I conclude, I can say that being good and gracious to guests, accepting and inducting new staff, and admitting new students into the precincts of the school — are akin to adoption. No one — even a stranger — wants to feel to be out of place.
By Victor Ochieng’
The writer is an education consultant. He rolls out talks and training services.
vochieng.90@gmail.com. 0704420232
Get more stories from our website: Education News
To write to us or offer feedback, you can reach us at: editor@educationnews.co.ke
You can also follow our social media pages on Twitter: Education News KE and Facebook: Education News Newspaper for timely updates.
>>> Click here to stay up-to-date with trending regional stories
