Three steps forward, and two steps backwards, is equal to one-step forward. Dr. John C. Maxwell wrote in his heroic book titled Failing Forward. Successful people behave like the soccer ball. When they hit the wall hard, they bounce back better. They build back better. Soccer player Kyle Rote Jr. remarked, “There is no doubt in my mind that there are many ways to be a winner, but there is really only one way to be a loser, and that is to fail and not to look beyond failure.”
Success is not a destination. It is a journey. In order to thrive, tighten thongs of your sandals: to help you walk on thorns and thistles. In other words, success is a process. Therefore, do not waste your energy trying to cover up failure. Learn from your failures and go on to the next challenge. Just accept it. It is okay to fail because if you are not failing, then you are not growing. All achievers have in common the ability to bounce back and build back after fatal failure. They stand to understand that life is a series of outcomes. Sometimes, the outcome is what you want. Nevertheless, sometimes, the outcome is what you do not want.
In the whole scheme of things, high achievers are able to keep moving forward no matter what happens to them. That is possible because they remember that failure does not make them failures. No one should take mistakes seriously. Failure works the same way. It is not somewhere you arrive. Just as success is not an event, so is failure. It is how you deal with life along the way. In a broader sense, none should conclude that they have failed until they make the last breath in this world of birth and death.
Do you know that entrepreneurs almost never get their first business off the ground? According to Tulane University business professor Lisa Amos, the average for entrepreneurs is 3.8 failures before they finally access success in business. Business author Jim Zabloski writes, “Contrary to popular beliefs, I consider failure a necessity in business. If you are not failing, then you are probably not doing enough.”
The more you do, the more you fail. The more you fail, the more you learn. The more you learn, the better you get. Therefore, when you fail, do not wail, but sail. Changing your perspective on failure will help you to persevere – and ultimately achieve your ravenous desire. Everybody makes mistakes, and errs. If you are a human being, you are going to make mistakes. No wonder, Alexander Pope talked about it over 250 years ago, “To err is human, to forgive divine.”
People who fail forward are able to see errors or negative experiences as a regular part of life. They learn from them. Then, they move on. They persist and persevere in order to reach and touch the zenith of great achievement. Errors become mistakes when we perceive them and respond to them incorrectly. Mistakes become failures when we continually respond to them incorrectly. People who see failure as an enemy are captive to those who conquer it. When we give ourselves to fail, we at the same time give ourselves permission to excel.
In Texas they say, “It doesn’t matter how much milk you spill as long as you don’t lose your cow.” The problems come when you see only the spilled milk and fail to see the bigger picture. Failure is good. People who correctly see failure take it in stride. You learn from mistakes you commit. Aptly put, if silly things were not done, intelligent things would never happen. Every failure you experience is a fork in the road. It is an opportunity to take the right action. Therefore, learn from your mistakes. Then, begin again: Begin to win.
Defeat and despair may serve as well as victory to shake the soul and let the glory out. The bitter truth is that all roads to achievement lead through the labyrinthine land of failure. That is why awesome author Rob Persons concluded, “Tomorrow belongs to the failures.” Mistakes do not define failure per se. They are merely the price of achievement on the success journey. Failure is simply a price we pay to access success. If we learn to embrace that new definition of failure, then we are free to start moving ahead. It is how we fail forward.
Grantland Rice sagely said, “Failure is not bad if does not attack the heart. Success is all right if it does not go to the head.” Many people wrestle with feelings of failure. The most damaging being doubtful thoughts about themselves. Every successful person is someone who failed, but refused to succumb to the ginormous jaws of defeat and despair. It is nearly impossible for any person to believe to be a failure and fail forward at the same time. Keeping a good perspective of yourself is important when it comes to changing every form of adversity to advantage. Psychological pundit Martin E. Seligman believes we have two choices when we fail: We internalise or externalise our failure. What distinguishes winners from losers is that winners concentrate at all times on what they can do, not on what they cannot do.
Again, people who blame themselves when they fail and fall flat, think they are worthless, talentless and unlovable, which is not true. On the other side of the coin, those who begin to win are willing to change their approach and perspective. Ideally, they think of how to crack the best formula. The truth of the matter is that failure is either your friend or foe – and you are the one to choose. If you play a dirge every time, then failure will remain your foe. However, if you get determined to learn from your failures, then you actually benefit from them – and that makes failure your friend.
Your attitude towards failure determines your attitude after failure. You never know who you are and what you are until you go through trial in the crucible of adversity, and forged in the furnace of failure. The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor humankind be perfected without litany of trials. No matter what kind of failure you experience, there is always a potential jewel of success contained in it. Sometimes, it may be difficult to find. Yet, you can discover it if you are willing to look for it.
If there is any single factor that makes for success and living, it is the ability to draw dividends from defeat and despair. Every form of success is enticed when the person is able to analyse defeat and actually profit from it in the next undertaking.
By Victor Ochieng’
The reviewer is an avid reader of books, author, trainer and a peripatetic public speaker.
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